Evil Comes in Aerosol Cans
by Vegeta's Embodiment
Summary: Well, everyone has seen the 'Bulma gets taken away by the Saiyajins and weedles her way into the heart of their Prince', but this is my 'Vegeta tries to conquer the humans, gets kidnapped and taken prisoner, and then gets high on hairspray with Bulma and
1. Alie-ums!

Evil Comes in Aerosol Cans

Evil Comes in Aerosol Cans

Author's Note: You've all seen "Bulma gets kidnapped by the Saiyajins" fics. Well, here is a "Vegeta gets kidnapped by the humans fic! Mwa ha ha. Anyways. In this story, Frieza didn't blow up the planet Vegetasei, there was an epidemic around when Bulma and Vegeta are 18 and 19 and all the Saiyajins are dying so…oh, just read the damn story!

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em and I'm broke

~*~

"No, sire, not yet, but it doesn't look good." Bardok rubbed his temples and looked up at the Saiyajin no Ou with a pleading look. "Ninety Seven percent of out population are infected. I'm losing my medical staff left and right. Her Majesty has it. You have it. The Ouji will not stay safe for long." A beeping began on the monitor next to the scientist, and he added, "Make that Ninety Nine percent infected." Leaning back in his chair with a defeated sigh, Bardok lightly traced the scar on his cheek. The king sat in front of him, his tall hair and pronounced widow's peak looking more disheveled than usual. "What do we do? What CAN we do?" he whispered, many nights without sleep showing through in bloodshot eyes. The scientist thought for a moment and then looked out the window, searching the stars. "There is one alternative. When the virus first broke out, I sent my son off world with specific instructions not to harm the natives. He is there, living among them. We could send Prince Vegeta to another planet as well." The king's head snapped up. "No! My son will NOT be sent to die! What of our race? Isn't there a female on this blasted planet…" 

"Your Majesty, the females were infected first and by far more worse than the males. There are no females left alive save the Queen herself. And even she is sick now. However, there ARE races that can mate with the Saiyajin. One looks a lot like us, sans our wonderful tails, and even possess chi possibilities."

"How come I was never informed of such a planet before?"

" The planet was useless in value. Plus, the inhabitants would prove a menial task even to a toddler. However, I acquired samples of their genetic make-up through some trading with Namekians, it seems they have a representative there, and it seems that breeding Saiyajin and these Chikyuu-jins begets a powerful hybrid. We are yet unsure of the fertility capabilities of the hybrid, but…."

"I've heard enough Bardok. Are you sure these people cannot harm the Prince?"

"Quite, your Majesty."

"Good. Send my son there. Is that the location of your brat?"

"No, sire, My boy is on Yardrat, but I can send him to Chikyuu in time for him to be waiting for the Prince to arrive." 

"Well, then, Bardok. Hopefully my son can be convinced to go along with this life-saving plan. Send a message to the Royal Brat. He will not listen to me, but perhaps the Voice of Reason can persuade him…"

"Yes, your Majesty." Bardok hit the ground on one knee and held his fist over his heart, head bowed as the King left. When he looked up, the monitor beeped in, confirming that he and the Price were the only ones left on the planet. From the corner of the doorway, the end of the Saiyajin no Ou's cape was frozen in place, the golden boot of the cape's owner lying lifelessly. Bardok jumped in his chair and turned on his Comm unit. 

"Alright, hot rod, you've got ten minutes to convince the most stubborn Saiyajin ever born to leave and then get your kid there too." Bardok typed in his passcode rapidly and opened the window to the Prince's room. He saw the boy there, meditating in the corner. 

"Your Highness. Your father, the King, has passed away from the disease, along with the Queen. You and I are the only ones that are left. You must follow my exact instructions if you would like to live long and strong." Vegeta sent a glare his way, then sauntered over to the Comm unit.

"I am listening, General." It must be my lucky day, Bardok thought to himself. The Prince was being much more agreeable than usual. 

"Highness, the only way to ensure your survival is to send you off world to a planet called Chikyuu, where you will meet my own son, Kakarotto, who is a third class. You will be able to take mates from this race, however, I do ask that you do not enslave them. In order not to draw the attention of Frieza and more powerful beings, you must live in harmony with these people." The scientist held his breath, waiting for the Princes' reply. He heard the teenager snort. 

"We shall see. It depends on my welcoming at this planet." The Princes' face went dark before he added. "What do these people look like?" 

"Saiyajins without tails. They also have multiple combos for the coloration gene." Vegeta's head snapped up. 

"Is blue hair a possibility?"

"Yes…it is a possibility…"

"I will go. Ready the ship."

"Yes, your Highness."

Bardok closed the Comm and opened up a pod, wondering about the Prince's last question and typing in the coordinates for the auto-pilot. Then he sent in his last call. 

The screen opened up to a familiar face, one that mirrored his own. Kakarotto leaned back, and put his hands behind his head. 

"Ah, what can I do for ya Pops?"

"Shut-up brat. I've got three minutes to my life, so listen good." Kakarotto bolted up in his seat, his wide eyes on the screen. "I need you to go to Chikyuu and meet your Prince at landing site Q, programmed into the database of your pod. Now."

"B..But father…"

"Now. See ya around, brat." His father's face faded from sight. Kakarotto pressed the power switch and sat in silence as the monitor's perpetual humming ceased and static crackled across the obsidian surface. Running his hand through his rowdy jet hair, the young Saiyajin stood and made his way to the pod. His hand flew over the keyboard as he accessed the database. On the opening screen, in tiny print, Bardok had left a challenge. "If you can make me any prouder than I already am of you, Brat, then you will truly be a legendary Super Saiyajin. My only regret is not being able to arrange your mating tournament." Kakarotto's nose crinkled up in disgust. As a nine-year-old, he didn't have much of an interest in females, but still his heart ached to see Bardok's affirmation of his love for his son, something you didn't see often. He saved the message into the main memory and then proceeded to access the landing site coordinates. After setting the auto-pilot, he put in the command for cryogenic sleep. Settling down in a comfortable position, Kakarotto fell asleep staring at the stars.

Vegeta awoke from his sleep slowly, wincing as the light from the monitor flashed on and an incessant voice on the other side kept calling his name. Growling, he glared up at the offender, and snarled at him to voice his explanation. The man on the other end looked awfully like Bardok, he mused, then remembered that his son would be his royal guard. A royal guard who was still in diapers, as far as the teenage Prince was concerned. The kid looked a little flustered and then bowed his head in respect. 

"Your Highness, your ship is due to touch down in ten minutes and I landed to far away to be there when you arrive. I ask that you stay put when you touch down so that I may get to you, if your Highness so pleases." He cringed as Vegeta glared at him. However, the glare turned into a smirk as the Prince recognized fear. 

"Very well, brat, but this will be the last time I tolerate inadequacy in my Royal Guard."

"Yes, sir." The boy blacked out, and Vegeta settled back again for a catnap until his pod landed. 

When Vegeta's face was gone, Kakarotto breathed a sigh of relief. He stepped out of his pod and looked at the large facility he had landed nearby. It was comprised of large white domes, and many of them at that. So far he hadn't seen any life forms, so he figured he could get his pod hidden and get to the Prince without any trouble. Although Bardok never specified, he guessed that there was the same "no conquering" rules here that there had been on Yardrat. He was glad that he had been able to spend enough time there to learn Instant Transmission, although he still hadn't gotten the knack, and he wasn't familiar enough with the Prince's chi to IT to him anyway. He stood and stretched, cracking his back when he felt a searing pain going through his body, and he collapsed. 

Bulma looked down at the boy who's tail she had just ripped to shreds. She looked up and smiled at the sky, where she knew Kami watched. She had dreamt of an odd boy who had come to Earth in a pod like this. He enslaved them and killed many people. He had a tail. Odd, though. He was older with a different hairstyle than this one. Oh well, she mustn't dwell on details. Those will come later. For now, there was a table ready for this one, and a lobotomy waited. She ordered some robots to drag his ship into her lab so that she could check out the technology on it when she had this one secure in the medical wing. 

After the operation, Bulma walked into the room. The boy was doing fine, dazed, and off-balance from the removal of his tail. She leaned down and asked his name. After a few moments, the boy with the wild hair looked up at her and started speaking rapidly in a language she didn't recognize. Sighing, she stood and looked around. The trashy romance novel she had been reading a few days earlier caught her attention and she noticed that the leading lad had wild black hair, just like the young boy. She looked down at him and smiled. She pointed to herself and said, "Bulma." Then she pointed to him and said, "Goku." He grinned and looked at her uncertainly, and she sighed. Taking his hand, she led him into a room and hooked him up to machines. Making sure that he had plenty of food, she left him to learn Chikyuu language. Walking into the lab, she noticed that the monitor in Goku's little pod was flashing and an enraged voice was shouting on the other end in the same rapid language. She flicked on the monitor and the voice was silenced. There was a young man on the other end that appeared to be her age, with dark features and raven hair. His eyes were as black as coal and they screamed hatred at her as his tanned face went white. It took him a few moments, and then he said slowly, "Where is the brat?" his tongue stumbling over foreign syllables. 

"He is learning our language. How do you know it?" Bulma lifted an eyebrow suspiciously. Aliens did not normally talk to you in a language you could understand. She smiled faintly as his chin lifted and he stuck out his chest. 

"I am the Saiyajin no Ouji, I know everything." Her smile turned into a grin at his last remark. 

"Then what was the boy's name?"

"Kakarotto. He is my Royal Guard. Return him at once." 

"If you know everything, then come and get him yourself." She grinned in a challenge. Shutting off the main computer, she opened up the ship's CPU and took out what she recognized to be a simple tracking device. She smashed it, and sauntered back to the room where Kakarotto was in, planning on looking at his progress. 

"Ohayo!" She certainly was not expecting to be greeted in Chikyuu, but she didn't show her surprise and decided to question the boy.

"Hey. I'm Bulma."

"I…um…" his brow furrowed and he glared at the floor.

"What is it?"

"I forgot my name…"

"Hmm…well, how 'bout we call ya Goku?" 

"Sure! That's great!" He grinned childishly up at her. This was definitely a different personality from the serious boy she had observed before. The operation worked like a charm.

"Alright Goku, Where are ya from?"

"I…don't know. All I remember is…fighting…on someplace. I learned this really great trick! I call it Instant Transmission. But I'm no good at it yet. I gotta work harder. And I gotta fight real hard…for…something…to make someone proud. I don't know…I just can't remember." Goku looked up at her again, utterly distressed. Bulma's mind turned rapidly, looking for something to tell the kid. 

"Well, I think that you will be able to improve a lot here. I make training rooms and machines with my dad, and we have tons of tournaments. You'll have fun. I promise." He grinned and flung his arms around her, hugging her lightly, or at least he thought it was lightly. Bulma thought she was going to die. "Anyway. Let's get you a room." She led him into the Capsule Corp. compound and was getting the few provisions and clothing he had in his pod put up when there was a few startled yelps from outside. The balcony door flung open and a young man paraded in, head held high as if he owned the world. He had one of those 'The world is against me' scowls under a widows peak that foreshadowed and early receding hairline and a to-die-for physic. If Bulma weren't too busy having a heart attack, she might have just squealed in delight. Not even the pictures of the desert bandit teenager looked this good. After picking herself off the ground, she put her hands on her hips and arched an eyebrow questioningly. He smirked and stated, "I found you. What do I win?" 


	2. Tables Turned

Evil Comes in Aerosol Cans

Author's Note: Well, we got through Chapter one okay. Sorry I haven't been posting anything lately. Everything has been going downhill lately and I haven't had either time or will to write. However, I am back with a big cup of vengeance. Heh heh. Anyway. Here's Chapter two for you guys. Don't get mad at me! I'll try to work on all my stories! 

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em and I'm broke

~*~

Last time…. 

"Well, I think that you will be able to improve a lot here. I make training rooms and machines with my dad, and we have tons of tournaments. You'll have fun. I promise." He grinned and flung his arms around her, hugging her lightly, or at least he thought it was lightly. Bulma thought she was going to die. "Anyway. Let's get you a room." She led him into the Capsule Corp. compound and was getting the few provisions and clothing he had in his pod put up when there was a few startled yelps from outside. The balcony door flung open and a young man paraded in, head held high as if he owned the world. He had one of those 'The world is against me' scowls under a widows peak that foreshadowed and early receding hairline and a to-die-for physic. If Bulma weren't too busy having a heart attack, she might have just squealed in delight. Not even the pictures of the desert bandit teenager looked this good. After picking herself off the ground, she put her hands on her hips and arched an eyebrow questioningly. He smirked and stated, "I found you. What do I win?" 

~*~

Bulma glared at the boy angrily and crossed her arms. "You win absolutely nothing, which is how much you're worth! How dare you waltz in here like you own the place and scare me half to death!" Vegeta winced at her voice. How many decibels could this creature reach!? He composed himself quickly as soon as she stopped screaming. 

"You should watch your tongue, girl. I am the Saiyajin no Ouji, therefore, you should show me the proper respect befitting foreign royalty, or is this little ball of mud so uncivilized?" Bulma glared at him, thinking about retorting, but not wanting to prove him correct on the subject of her rudeness. Before she could say anything, however the boy had turned to Goku, and was addressing him in their language, and not very politely, it seemed to her. Goku gave him a confused look and said something in a questioning voice. Vegeta paled again, the second time Bulma had seen him do that, and he turned on her in a fury. 

"What the HELL did you DO to him?!"

"What?"

"He doesn't remember ANYTHING about his MISSION or who he IS or ANYTHING!"

"Of course. It was a successful operation."

"NANI?" 

"We gave him a slight personality change. It was believed he would be dangerous." 

Vegeta took a deep breath to keep him from killing the native. Right now he would love nothing more than to crush her like a bug or rip her skin off little by little, hearing her screams…He shook his head and sighed. "Can you turn him back?" 

"Not unless you want him to be stupid as a vegetable." 

"No…we can't have that. Alright." 

Vegeta felt like killing something, badly. He was about to blow up one of Bulma's machines that was sitting in a near corner when a new human came in. Bulma looked at him, admiration shining in her eyes. Vegeta thought that this person must be important indeed to get the girls respect. The man cleared his throat, letting his hand wander up to pet a small black creature on his shoulder. 

"Prince Vegeta, I presume?" Vegeta nodded at him. "I just got a message from the GCU,(AN: Governmental Communications Unit.) and it seems that you came to the right place. You will reside here until a suitable palace has been erected, then you will be allowed to take an allotted amount of land for a kingdom. All nations have also been very agreeable to the idea of letting you marry any of their finest daughters. We received a message from one called Bardok telling us of your predicament awhile back, and we've been expecting you. Welcome to Chikyuu. I'll show you to your quarters." 

Vegeta and Goku left, following Dr. Briefs, leaving Bulma alone. She stood there for a moment, seemingly lost in her thoughts before she whispered, "Kuso." Her thoughts had been returning back to the strange dream she had had, and an epiphany came upon her. The boy she had been afraid of, the one who her dream depicted had candle-flamed hair, a widow's peak, and a wicked smirk. They were housing their own destruction, the Prince of the Saiyajins. 

Vegeta lounged on his bed comfortably, turning over the recent events in his mind. He was on a planet that was not his own, Prince of a race of dead people, with one survivor, who didn't even remember his own customs and was quickly forgetting how to speak his own language. Kakarotto was turning human so fast, it made his head spin. He still wondered why the humans had left him alone, and changed Kakarotto's personality, when he was ten times stronger than the low class warrior. He frowned when he thought about the girl, who he had met earlier. She didn't seem to know who he was at first, but her father knew of his coming all along. Why was she not informed? She was obviously brilliant, and from what he had caught from her conversation with Kakarotto before he burst in, she helped her father at his work. Oh well, he shrugged it off. His thoughts wandered back to the dreams he had been having recently. The girl dressed in white, who had the aqua colored hair and eyes. She looked so much like this Chikyuu girl, it was uncanny. It scared him a little. In his dreams she killed him again and again, no mercy. Ice shone in her eyes, the same ice that was there when that girl had glared at him. Vegeta shuddered. Well, he wouldn

not informed? She was obviously brilliant, and from what he had caught from her conversation with Kakarotto before he burst in, she helped her father at his work. Oh well, he shrugged it off. His thoughts wandered back to the dreams he had been having recently. The girl dressed in white, who had the aqua colored hair and eyes. She looked so much like this Chikyuu girl, it was uncanny. It scared him a little. In his dreams she killed him again and again, no mercy. Ice shone in her eyes, the same ice that was there when that girl had glared at him. Vegeta shuddered. Well, he wouldn't let a female with a power level THAT weak destroy him. NO ONE would destroy him. NO ONE would rule him. He thought over his deal with the ningen people. It sucked. It sucked a lot. He went from being the crowned Prince of an entire planet of powerful warriors to a guy with a castle and a few square miles of land and ONE subject. One who had the biggest personality challenge he had seen since Nappa. It sickened him. Well, he would show them. He would rule this planet, make them suffer, especially that blue-headed wench and then…oh then…he would show them all. He would take a queen and a few of his hybrids back to Vegetasei, where they belonged, where HE belonged and start the Saiyajin race over. All he needed was a suitable queen. Too bad none of these ningens had Saiyajin strength. Of course he could train them. But he didn't think that any of them would go for that. Which was why he was going to have to enslave them. Make them train. Then he would be able to pick out the strongest one. Yes, the perfect plan, he thought. Vegeta got off the bed and went downstairs for food. One cannot come up with sadistic plans of domination on an empty stomach, you know…

~*~

Bulma looked at the schematics of her device, looking over the programming code she had come up with to see if there were any flaws she could detect. All seemed in order. Now all she had to was make the thing. She reached for her coffee, and stopped when her hand met air. In fact it surprised her when she looked up and her mug wasn't even on the kitchen table, but in the hands of "His Royal Pain in the Arse." She glared at him and held out her hand for the mug, frowning deeper as he sniffed the liquid, then taking a small drink. He set down the mug with a look of disgust apparent on his features. 

"How can you drink this stuff? It's TERRIBLE!"

"Well, you don't need any anyway. It stunts your growth, which is something you need to do." He gave her a hateful glance and then sauntered over the refrigerator and proceeded to clean it out. Bulma rolled her eyes and went back to reviewing her design, not surprised by his appetite after seeing Goku eat earlier. She looked up, annoyed, when she felt a breath on her neck and looked up to see the Prince looking at her design over her shoulder. 

"Wuzzat?"

"It a design."

"I can see that, girl. What is it for? And what language is this in?"

"It's a hair net applicator, and it's in a code I came up with," She lied, glad he couldn't read Latin. 

"Hmm…looks a lot like Saiyajin. In fact, if it were in my native language, it would say "Chi-net gun." 

"Nope. It says 'Hair-thing'." 

"Hair thing? That's the best you can come up with? That sounds so simple, not scientific at all."

"Well, I'm not going to patent it, so why should it matter?"

He shrugged and left, and she breathed a sigh of relief and rolled up the design for her Chi-net Gun, making a mental note never to do weapon designs in Latin. She headed to her workshop and put the design on the table, starting to gather her materials and heating up the soldering rod. 

~*~

The day had been a nightmare, Bulma thought as she dressed numbly. For the first few weeks Vegeta had been what she thought was his normal self and now he had taken over the world. Keeping most of the inhabitants alive, he was intent on starting a new Vegetasei. Poor Goku had been easy to convince that this was the thing to do, and he followed Vegeta like a lost puppy dog. Vegeta had forbidden him to talk to Bulma, in case she might ever turn him against Vegeta. Now Vegeta had done what Bulma thought to be the worst atrocity of all. He was gathering up all females between the ages of 16 and 19 and having them fight for rights to being his mate. Bulma hated herself for signing herself up, as the fight was voluntary, but it was the only way she could think of to get close to the beast. If she wanted to use her weapon… Goku's pod had given her enough information on Saiyajins to know just how to make Vegeta pass out cold. Soon she would give Chikyuu back its freedom. If she won, she would be congratulated by Vegeta himself, giving her the opportunity she needed to use the device. However, to her delight, though, it seemed that she wouldn't need to fight at all. Vegeta was entering the room to make sure no female was wearing brass knuckles or holding weapons. As he neared her, she popped the capsule behind her back and readied her gun. 

"Girl, show me your hands." Bulma grinned. Now was her chance. She took out the gun and fired, closing her eyes. After hearing a scream, she opened one, to see Vegeta on the floor, writhing in pain. The net was wrapped tightly around him and shoots of electricity were pulsing on his scalp and his tail. When he passed out, the pulsing stopped and Bulma looked up at Goku, who was staring at his Prince in horror. 

"Go…uh…Kakarotto!" His head snapped up and his gaze met hers. "We have to help him! Pick him up and follow me!" she set the gun on the table behind her and thanked her lucky stars Goku wasn't aware that she was in fact the one who had hurt him. 

After a few hours of driving and listening to Goku whimper when the electricity started up again when Vegeta started to stir, they arrived at a small building that Bulma had been working on since the day after Vegeta had arrived. It was completely Saiyajin-escape proof. Once inside, Bulma put a chi-suppressing collar on the unconscious Prince and set him in the cell, unwrapping the net from around him. She pulled out a bottle of liquid and a syringe, chuckling as Goku ran for the hills at the sight of a needle. After injecting the stuff into Vegeta, she whispered into his ear. "You can't use chi, or those muscles of yours now. You are now powerless. No one will ever suffer your evil again." She left the room and made sure to lock up the cell and turn on the security cameras. Smiling to herself, she made her way to the living quarters and laid down to take a little nap. She set her alarm to go off ten minutes before Vegeta was supposed to wake up so she could monitor him at all times. 

An hour and a half later, Bulma radioed on every station and let Chikyuu know it was safe once more. Goku, of course, soon forgot all about the things Vegeta had said to him and was a very happy little boy, staying with Bulma to guard her. The two became best friends. Vegeta was kept alive of course, but a few days after they had gotten him into captivity, there were those who wanted to make their opinion known that Vegeta should be killed. Bulma and Goku got their first visitor very quickly…

Next time: The desert bandit teenager comes looking to dole out a big cup of vengeance…Will Vegeta's fate be sealed? Find out next time on…umm…what's the name of this again? Oh! Find out next time on Evil Comes in Aerosol Cans! 

PS Yous guys can e-mail me to tell me how pathetic I am at electrica2@innocent.com


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